As you can see, I spent some time on our server’s stat page today and found that some of you are STILL looking for how to auditon for a role in Pirates of the Caribbean 2. How can I say this lightly?

– Yeah, and that means you too.. Yeah you, the person reading this who is thinking that what I’m writing applies to everyone else BUT you? — Yeah, that ESPECIALLY means you. Whoever you are, you simply will not be sharing the screen with Orlando, Ms. Knightley or Mr. Depp. Sorry.

Never has there ever been an open casting call for this movie. Ever. At all. It has never happened and unless God grants you the best week ever experienced by humans, you won’t be going.

Whatever rumour you’ve heard that they are auditioning for the role of Capitain Black’s neice, or Orlando’s love Interest or Keira’s ‘competition’ — are fake. Completely.